Torn pieces of paper

I was randomly browsing for old stuffs in my room. Apparently, I still had some parts left on the journal I kept before as a memory for a past love. A love that I never knew would end up in such a cruel fate.

Here are what's left of it:

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February 14, 2009 9:18 PM

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Today would probably fit into one of the worst days of my life. And to add up to that, this would also be my saddest valentines day ever. Yeah, i do have a gf. I have nothing against that. She's great. But we're having some problems lately. Not sure where we're at. Work sucks too. Got transferred to a different team and LOB. Fuck. Life's unfair sometimes. Just hope things would get better tomorrow. I do want my old life back.

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February 16, 2009

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She broke up with me.

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February 17, 2009

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We got back together. She's been crying all night. Even when she's taking a shower. I heard her cry. She said: "hindi ko kayang mawala ka. im sorry. binabawi ko na."

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March 1, 2009

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Things have been difficult. She was back to being a ghost in my life. Won't answer my messages or anything. We fought. Just like i thought we would. I was thinking of breaking up with her as one friend told me this probably means that its time to let her go completely. Told her we need to talk. Before going home she sent me a message. Saying sorry and all those other stuff. I do understand how moody she is. She'll always be like that. So I forgave her. **In relationships, communication indeed is very essential.**

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March 09, 2009

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This was from her survey just this morning:

[THREE] Your relationship status?

^ in a relationship.

[THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like.

^ haha may other half na eh

[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?

^ yep..=] sa baby ko=] love u baby

[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

^ haha sbihin ko ba?BABY!

[NINETEEN] What are you doing right now?

^ kausap c baby and nagtytype?

[TWENTY-SEVEN] Who are you thinking of right now?

^BABY!

She's one person who knows how to make my heart leap. Even if it's so damn hard to put up with her mood swings, I can't change the fact that i love her. And no matter how strong I may seem, she at times, makes me weak.

***

I'm back to blogging. Unfortunately, my first post still has something to do with my past. It's not that I'm not over it yet. Truth is, I am. But still, I can't hide the fact that my past served as a big part of who I am right now. Things didn't end well. I'm not hoping it would even get better. But I do pray for both our happiness. Someday, everything will have its own place.***