Euphoria

Having a happy and contented life.
Need i say more?

Now all i need is a better job.

LSS: how sweet it is to be loved by you.

Life's essence

Being in love is the greatest feeling of all. Much more, being in love with you trayz.

Before, my world revolved around this one person.

I was too blind to see those other people around me.

Perhaps it never came to my mind that things would end up badly.

I was in love, or so was i.

But having to think of it, did i really love her?

Or i just loved the thought of being in love with a person who makes me happy once in a while.

I don't regret the things i did, nor am i regretting the love i gave her.

It had been one of the greatest moments in my life.

And i did learn a lot from all the pain i went through in that 10 month long relationship.

I am now leaving the past behind.

I'm happy with my life right now. No questions asked.

For those people who might think that i'm just using trayzz to forget all the hurt i've been through, i'll prove you guys wrong.

I LOVE HER. I REALLY DO.

Why?

'cause there's just no reason not to.

Lost in thought

For the past 21 years of my life, all I ever did was (thinking) -- I guess, nothing. I never took life seriously. All I wanted was to make the most out of my life without thinking of the possible outcomes of those decisions I make. Up until now, having graduated from college, I still don't have any idea on what I really want in life.

I'm not much of a dreamer but I do daydream a lot. I have a lot of things in mind but I've got no idea which one I should seek. One thing at a time. But which one should I take first?

I want to be a doctor, a painter, a writer, photographer.

I'm not getting any younger. I have to make up my mind SOON. Nonetheless, I'm still stuck in this boring life -- taking calls every night.

Torn pieces of paper

I was randomly browsing for old stuffs in my room. Apparently, I still had some parts left on the journal I kept before as a memory for a past love. A love that I never knew would end up in such a cruel fate.

Here are what's left of it:

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February 14, 2009 9:18 PM

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Today would probably fit into one of the worst days of my life. And to add up to that, this would also be my saddest valentines day ever. Yeah, i do have a gf. I have nothing against that. She's great. But we're having some problems lately. Not sure where we're at. Work sucks too. Got transferred to a different team and LOB. Fuck. Life's unfair sometimes. Just hope things would get better tomorrow. I do want my old life back.

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February 16, 2009

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She broke up with me.

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February 17, 2009

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We got back together. She's been crying all night. Even when she's taking a shower. I heard her cry. She said: "hindi ko kayang mawala ka. im sorry. binabawi ko na."

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March 1, 2009

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Things have been difficult. She was back to being a ghost in my life. Won't answer my messages or anything. We fought. Just like i thought we would. I was thinking of breaking up with her as one friend told me this probably means that its time to let her go completely. Told her we need to talk. Before going home she sent me a message. Saying sorry and all those other stuff. I do understand how moody she is. She'll always be like that. So I forgave her. **In relationships, communication indeed is very essential.**

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March 09, 2009

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This was from her survey just this morning:

[THREE] Your relationship status?

^ in a relationship.

[THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like.

^ haha may other half na eh

[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?

^ yep..=] sa baby ko=] love u baby

[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

^ haha sbihin ko ba?BABY!

[NINETEEN] What are you doing right now?

^ kausap c baby and nagtytype?

[TWENTY-SEVEN] Who are you thinking of right now?

^BABY!

She's one person who knows how to make my heart leap. Even if it's so damn hard to put up with her mood swings, I can't change the fact that i love her. And no matter how strong I may seem, she at times, makes me weak.

***

I'm back to blogging. Unfortunately, my first post still has something to do with my past. It's not that I'm not over it yet. Truth is, I am. But still, I can't hide the fact that my past served as a big part of who I am right now. Things didn't end well. I'm not hoping it would even get better. But I do pray for both our happiness. Someday, everything will have its own place.***